Thick Skin; Intentions.

I sometimes joke to people that I think I have issues with anxiety. I have my moments, but I try not to take them too seriously.

Remarkk, in addition to being a huge dear with helping me get my feet beneath me for getting Vancouver Transit Camp happening, twittered a link I’d never seen before: a discussion from the Urban Toronto forum about Toronto Transit Camp earlier this year.

It’s a good time for me to get this link: I was interviewed yesterday by Cheryl Rossi at The Vancouver Courier, a local weekly that’s delivered to all residents (which means I’ll need to find some people willing to save their papers for me to get a copy. Such is life in Burnaby). The interview was fairly involved, and they sent someone to take my picture, so I’m guessing this is going to be of some length. (This terrifies me to no end.)

I had about 20 minutes to fret before she actually called, so I probably did not emphasize some of the things I would have liked. For instance, I didn’t say nearly enough about who the other organizers were (though I did mention a certain admin for the Vancouver Transit Flickr photography pool). I also didn’t mention much about bloggers, and the fact that it was their brilliant writing, insight and enthusiasm that convinced me that there would be an audience for this event. Instead, Cheryl was asking for my age and who I am, which is unfortunate because I suppose a person is where stories come from, and I had to serve that role.

But it should be so much more than that. It’s the story of an idea – first BarCamp, then TransitCamp – and how we meet people and they inspire us as individuals to do things for other people, and then find ourselves doing the same kind of inspiring for other people without having been asked. It’s about leadership really emerging from anywhere, adding to one’s own sense of empowerment and self-knowledge. It’s about the value of having us come together, see each other, to know each other, without prefabricated ideas of what that encounter is supposed to be for. Surely it’s not that ridiculous.

So I’m reading the comments in Urban Toronto as a way of gearing myself up to what I will undoubtedly hear from others – and, because in my heart I’d rather be a peacemaker more than anything else, I am continually pulled by what needs to happen and what I want to happen. I am buoyed by my fellow organizers reminding me that this TransitCamp may not be the only one.

The comment that’s really stuck with me from the Toronto forum is this (emphasis mine):

“So here’s the thing….so why not start something like this in your neck of the woods if the lack of it generates such passionate anger in you?”

Oh I fight my own battles, thank you. My voluminous correspondence with local councillors, by-law offices, etc is a testament to that. I’ve put businesses I don’t like out of business. I’ve shut down illegal rooming houses. Gotten people investigated, and in one instance, led to an arrest. So don’t tell me I don’t do what I can in my area. People here know I even pick up bags of litter on my daily walks in warmer weather. I just don’t feel the need to announce it everywhere, like on a blog, thanks. I guess I’m of an older generation that doesn’t feel the need to document each and every thought that comes into my head, and somehow make it seem as if it has any significance beyond that.

I suppose this is representative of the propensity to think, “I’ve done this and it’s achieved the goal I had in mind. I’m happy with that, and that’s all there is to it.” This particular poster believes that his actions – corresponding with local councillors, making tangible change in his community – are not a form of leadership, inspiration to others, that deserves to be heard about; or that his efforts, done in coordination with the efforts of others, could lead to something larger than the sum of the individuals working apart. He has a different conception of how individuals work within communities to bring about change – there are forms, letters, tactics of pressure, holding people’s feet to the fire. That’s fine, and I think understanding all narratives of social change are, equally important. My suspicion is that, as a result of my age and background, I have a different narrative in mind, and I’m collectively building that narrative with everyone I meet.

My hope, I suppose, is that although we have goals with TransitCamp, that there will be positive externalities and unintended consequences that will go far and beyond what we have set out in our initial intention to have this event.