Get out of my rice

The Myth of the Rice King, eh? And here I thought there were no theories being thrown around about Asian girls and white guys. Naturally, I’d be retroactively proven wrong.

I think the second comment hits the nail right on the head for me:

“I have two sisters who tend to date white guys but it doesn’t mean they’re not attracted to Asian guys. When I ask them why they do so they suggested to me that they don’t want to get stuck with a traditional Asian man with traditional family morals….They are scared to think that they will be stuck at home taking care of the children instead of having the freedom to pursue a career.”

Though obviously there’s nothing to back up the idea that white families value stay-at-home moms any less. I think it’s more wanting to get away from our mothers, the mothers of our would-be Asian husbands included. Even growing up in a matriarchy, I hate how power is slung around, one end of the gender spectrum to the other. The only other Asian mother I’ve known aside from my own was unhappy in her own marriage. My relatives haven’t given me too much reason to hope either. I have a cousin about 5 or 6 years older than me who is the first woman of my generation to marry white (his family’s Jewish), and believe me, I was watching to see how that would go like a hawk. (They had their first baby about 8 months ago.) They’re also American, so she’s more or less subsumed in the melting pot anyway (along with the rest of her family), making it less of an issue than I would presume it would be for me.

I’m so tempted to get all Freudian on this, but I’ll refrain. I will say, in regards to the very last section of that page commenting on the lack of “sexy Asian male stars”: I think there’s something semiotically ingrained about the denigrated qualities that are attributed to the typical Asian male, which they are very much aware of but often powerless to recognize and actively combat. The article makes brief mention of the “cold Asian male husband” stereotype; alas, there have been few Asian males in my life that’ve remotely challenged that generalization. But then, I think the Asian male institution is very, very old, and that changes to its moorings in authoritarian, hierarchical modes of relationship and leadership will take a very long time to get dialogue going on. (Which begs the question: will my father ever come around to wondering whether he had anything to do with my choice of someone completely not him? So much for not going there…)

Meanwhile, us Asian girls want to get some loving that doesn’t make us feel terrible about ourselves.

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